Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
