She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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