God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
