I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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