all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
