White coat. Heels.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
