This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
sex in a hospital.. check
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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