i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
