That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
