Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
