is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
