We named our party play list daddy issues
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
50% drunk capacity currently
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize