that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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