if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
