oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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