Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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