There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
