whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
