Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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