I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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