lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
