You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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