i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I forgot how hot balto sounded
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
