Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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