Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
