Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
