I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
