I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
