oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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