help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
