Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
