Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
