She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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