I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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