I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just pynch a tree in the face
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
