...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
