So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
