Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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