We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
