i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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