TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
