i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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