Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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