She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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