shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
