if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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