I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
