Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
