woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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