guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Help. Why am I so naked?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
