You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
