I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
