i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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