1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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