Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
