i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
