why didn't you poke me back
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
