I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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