Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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