Betty ford says i'm here all night
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
