Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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