I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
